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General Views of Chinese from a Radio Show

"I think most Chinese do lack basic knowledge about homosexuality, many people incline to relate them to some dirty things," said one listener. "The professor has done a good job, I think, because only the more we know, the less bias, even ridiculous thoughts, we would have towards homosexual people. Then our society would be more tolerant and harmonious."

"In China, homosexual exist since the ancient time, but till nowadays, it can hardly be widely accepted by most ordinary people, I'm no exception," said another. "Despite that, I'm on the side of providing moderate basic knowledge on homosexuality to public."

"It's better that more and more people come to recognize and respect to the homosexuality, especially in younger generation," one wrote. "Meanwhile, we are hoping that the society we're in will get more tolerance."

"I knew these related discussions and conversations about homo would come after the movie Broke Back Mountain showed," remarked another. "In my opinion, it's one's own affair since he/she won't hurt others. On the other hand, I guess the thoughts of mainstream of society are gradually accepting this phenomenon, even if some are still disgusting with homo. But I expect that Chinese will eliminate discrimination on homosexuality with the progress of civilization."

Family Pressure
Most gay people interviewed for this story agree that the single biggest source of pressure and stigma comes from their own families. "My employer doesn't care about my private life, and the neighborhood grandma is not nosy any more. But there's no way I can get past my own mum and dad," said Lu Youni, a Guangzhou high school teacher.

Most parents cannot imagine in their wildest dreams that their children could be gay. They usually do not pick up the subtle signals that hint that their kids may be attracted to those of their own sex. When revelation dawns, it is normally such a shock that it feels like falling into a vortex of tongue-tied humiliation.

"They'd rather I became paralyzed, so that they could give me unconditional love and sympathy. If I became an alien, at least they would be curious about me," said Gu Du.

Unlike Gu, a few people take the calculated step of "coming out" to their parents. Fei Xue, a Jiangsu man who works in a local tax agency, had maintained a very close relationship with his father, who is a medical expert. Believing he was in a better position than most gay men whose parents are "less educated about these things," Fei showed his diary to his father, in which he detailed his emotional life. Father thumbed through each page, and then left his room quietly.

The next day, his father told him to cut off all connections with his gay friends and forbade him to leave his hometown for work elsewhere. "Now I advise others to be extremely cautious before they come out," he sighed.

There are occasional reports of parents who acquiesce or look the other way. Some are well - informed enough to know that their gay children do not have any "disease," they are just different from the majority. Others can accept it as long as their gay children are happy. But insiders suggest that these "Wedding Banquet" scenarios are few and far between.

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